pieces of me

kiss with your attitude

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:11:29 GMT

your attitude determines your altitude, sometimes it doesn't really matter what you do, it's more about why you are doing it.

i understand good intention does not justify wrong action, but good intention gives room for grace, and when u have the right attitude,u will be able to seek repentance and forgiveness. but when u do things with the wrong attitude, u feel sometimes there's no room for forgiveness anymore, but God's grace is still big enough for u, jus that u will haf a proverty mindset.

the two examples is like, david and saul/adam.

dun take God's grace for granted but leave it there as well

resurrection

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:07:25 GMT

went to service alone, minutes ago.. totally like it , it's finally clearer.

well was listening to my fav. a.r bernard on podcast on my way to church. well suddenly all my dreams n visions sort of bounce back to me,

happiness is a choice.

crisis is common to people, it's how we have our perspective on the purpose of the crisis that determines how the crisis affects us.

not being able to read the word of god much has sort of drawn me further from god due to lack of fresh revelation, tis spirit dryness was good.

well in proverbs it says he who faints in the heat of the day his strength is weak. in other words, strength can only be tested in crisis. well i choose to seek God and my own vision means i mus b able to endure such testings.

john 15 God breaks up the dead branches and prunes ppl so that they become fruitful, so if i wan to b great in the kog i got to let myself noe that some things others cann but i cannot. 2cor 13 paul said he beat himself lest he imself who teaches others becomes disqualifies for the prize.

gg to service today was great though i miss my own service, n it'5 dreadful to go expo and especially alone, but i totally dun regret it. maybe God saw it as a sacrifice haha , i elt his presence strongly, it reminded me why i look forward to gg to church n cg during army, not jus because of my frens but really the touch from God. my one desire, he really never give us up, he never will, lost is where he found me, shattered n frail but his always there. n i'? comforted by it, n all that is good enough reasons for me to stay strong

ride the wings raymond!

4th time i'm gg in

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:46:53 GMT

3rd time tt i'm out,
faith n positivity is something i felt very needed in army, well to understand all things happened for good truly, it allows u to go through anything. i'm not being simple minded.. but realli tt's wat i felt in army, things like having a field camp of 5 days, 4 day n night was raining, fifth day had some lightning flashing but no rain eventually but later i tell u wat happen.. ok 4 night was de toughest, we dug a "grave" for ourselves, which is call shell scrape, den it rain so heavily, inside was already mashy during noon, as de soil become wet, den during the ngiht, it rain heavily non stop, so all grave became a fish tank, n being human n not fish, we weren't able to take the cold weather, super cold n wet all over, de boots inside, all water... i almost wanted to give out, to see MO aka medical officer,like the many others, there was about 30 holes around me, abt 10-12 gave up when de rain was pouring... i told myself to stay clear in my mind n be strong, so suddenly i remembered i got solid fuels given by army to cook, i took it out n asked all my shivering buddies, to my grave n we started a mini-camp fire, everibody rationing their solid fuel, i burnt n in charge of the fire till 4am from 1am, many fell asleep ard my hole, due to the warm.. n i went to slp at 4 after no more solid fuel left, it was realli cold, but i told myself de rain was for good, n i trust in my ppl i know who pray for mi, my grp didn't kana tekan much, thanks to kenrick n those who prayed for mi.. then next day it was fridae.. becos many ppl was sick n cannot take it anymore, somehow the management allow us to go back to company line aka my bunk on fridae night, instead of staying 1 more night in de grave... weee other ppl had 6 daes field camp mine onli 5, maybe the rain was for this... hahah

now tt i'm booked out, i feel hmm rather sian i tink, nothing much to do on sg, i feel i dun realli got time to go out, missing my own service due to late release i was onli in sg at 3 so rather impossible to teleport there, unless i go there in my wet n muddy boots, hmm then i went home, n it seems no one is free to go out with, so practically stayed home..i oso onli realise that cg was on saturdae tis week only when i booked out, so it's like all my plans are gone n i got nth to do, other than gg service myself, i mean all my frens booked out to meet their gf n stuff.. well my plan everi week is to go to service n cg, n now that i can't do tt.. i feel rather lost at what to do,life seems to be stagnant...

i started to realise, positivity can onli bring u to a certain level, faith without work is dead.. it's like.. devil start to give me doubt, spiritual backbone mus be strong, to go through such dryness period. u mus realli haf a firm foundation lor, time is short, body is physically tired, but i will persevere, it's realli wrestling not with flesh n blood, it's all in my mind.. the constant struggles that comes..fellowship of the saints, is realli important..
dun worry, i'm strong .. jus that i'm expressing my thoughts.. trying to understand y ppl sae army life is tough time.. i start to agree.. but i believe wat doesn't kill u only makes u stronger

i jus hope i can go do some shopping tis afternn.. haha or catch a movie, let mi live a civilian life, it's been long since i caught a movie

2nd time i'm out of that island

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:12:40 GMT

realise i shld blog my army life down. so i will remember what i'm going through..

next week or rather in less than 24 hrs i will be marching to my field camp.. 8km route march...
they said field camp is a rather more xiong one, where more discipline will be required of me.. hmmm well i shall give them the benefit of the doubt and be mentally prepared first..

at first i heard a lot of stories.. abt how tough army life is.. well, not that i'm boasting.. but i feel army trains more on the mind than the body, most of my fren gained weight not so much of muscles, but the frequent meals.. hah.n snacks in the bunk

phyiscally the training is not really very tough, when it gets tough, u could always fall out, it's rather welfare inside.. the maximum pumping they give u, is 20 at one go, so they rotate between crunches pumping follow by jumping jack.. haha

so they can't play with ur body, they play with ur mind...

at the 1st week when everyone is still weak n cant do pumping, they punish u by giving u pumpings
2nd week we gotten use to pumping, they pump the whole platoon when u do something wrong, so mentally u feel guilty and stress that everyone kana...
now that we all whole platoon dun realli care abt pumping tgt, used to it..

3rd week they play with confinement, if u chao keng, or u fail ippt, they give u RT aka remedial training, so naturally ppl will wan to book out, n naturally ppl will do better for ippt n dun chao keng...

i'm not the kind that's rather self-motivated, i'm more like goal oriented.. so naturally i belong to the smart keng kind.. well not exactly naturally.. but i really dun see the need for siao on, i'm not the one always volunteering myself, not the first one to fall in or gather, neither am i the last to reach. n i do my best in all activity, showing that i'm de top few among be it, soc or ippt.. i do failed my ippt, but amazingly i run the top 10 fastest in my platoon, that i'm sure..
i believe one need to be smart, to survive, i think u can say i'm lazy, but i guess that's how poly life trained me, i'm someone that has a gpa more than 3 but i dun go to sch or classes, many green with envy, some more to the bu shuang side, i seriously has this dilemma between anti-conformity and culture mandate.. haha as much as i wan to blend it, i believe if i'm still the head and not the tail, i dun believe in using their methods..

all road leads to rome, so why must siao on be the only way to OCS..
4th week is field camp week. n we shall see abt that lolx! haha
i feel i will be someone dozing off at some trees in the heat of the noon, after doing my task..

army days

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:21:37 GMT

feeling rather bad n tress on the inside. can't pull chin up till passing mark yet, den may not be able to book out on frid ay night den may miss halloween service really worry.

on the side note, it feels rather bad on de inside when everyone in ur bunk is rither a aslp or on de fone with their gf. suddenly jus felt out of place jus feel alittle lonier making me crawl back to the bed n blog with my fone. i'? not distracted jus feel alittle sad seeing how much they look forward to their dates on weekend when they book ut while i have nth to do other than service n cg the rest of my time is jus slacking at home haix,oh well lights off good nights

barrier

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:48:56 GMT

well today was a great day, really great.. here comes my "bank account"

morning met up with guan feng, he came my hse.. then we went to eat kushinbo at suntec.. i will say i ate rather little if compare to the old me. but i ate till i felt uncomfortable and felt like puking, well the dessert's really nice.. omg. the tempanyaki had salmon, my fav. i ate like many kind of salmon today, the teppanyaki kind, the smoke kind, and the raw 1.. well had alot of spare rib too.. but the good part was jap dessert, i mean i like jap dessert but food wise i'm a hongkie, cos i'm not really into seafood other than salmon, i dun like things to plain when it comes to food, i like the saucey feeling.. of a muay fan , i like heavy taste~ like the dark sauce for char siew rice.. realli great..lolx~ i like the way they prepare tofu,or seafood or what ever.. so what i felt was.. given the same money i would haf prefer paris international buffet at marina square. but we tried tt before, so it's our 1st visit to kushinbo good experience, but i not much variety of food.. lolx~ but jap desserts are heavenly. green tea mua chee.. weee
ok went to repair my psp too.. contemplating whether to sell it.. n i realli wish to get HTC snap for my army fone..

ok den went home to put my psp, went out again, tis time to meet cg.. haha well by tt time i was already burping till to my really filled stomach, i feel like puking when i seee rice, so didn't ate at mr curry. haha. tried the curry sauce though.. not bad =D lolx anyway had drinks. n yu zhen treated me! weee =D exclusive for people sacrificing their hairs , the "army boys"..
well then after dinner we had a great time of fellowship at starbucks.. well the people shared really inspiring things. this is something that caught my mine, short n simple, yet nice and sweet... "love people,use things and not love things, use people" many a times we love things that we want, and in de process of possessing the things we make use of people around us, jus concern of our benefit at the expense of others.. they talked about being rich is a state of mind, well that to mi still need some times to digest, i believe we should train ourselves to be generous and helpful at all stage of our financial status, it's like tithing if we cannot give 1 dollar when we have 10 dollar, we can't give 10 thousands when we have 100 thousands..
nonetheless i do believe, finance is good, money is a tool, it's about how you use it and what u use it for, personally i feel, no one listens to the poor wise man, n seeking improvement and better standard of living is a part of God's will too.. God loves the poor and he loves you too.. nonetheless don;t let yourself be your only focus, let yourself be part of your focus becos of the benefit of others.. i believe it's all explain at 3john 2

and as we went home, i sat on sam's car with yu zhen n sam.. yu zhen manage to spot something i think many people don't realise..

i tot i was great at blending in. where by people the usual remarks is raymond is loud/funny/lot's of remarks and comment...
but she realise i was not engaging ... hmm i do know personally. i said it was a split personality. as i feel i need to know whether i'm saying is right , and shld i say it.. i take times to feel comfortable to speak my mind.. n i try not to join a conversation as i feel it's wise, as the less things i say the less mistake i make.. nonetheless the things i say people may not understand it and i'm lazy to repeat or think of ways to explain. sometimes i feel it's do not cast pearls to swine.. not in tt serious tone though...

hmm but after pondering i feel it's fear, and pride tt grip me.. i'm afraid of making mistakes, i fear i speak the wrong thing and made a fool of myself. i fear i'm not good enuff to start a conversation, what if i dunno how to continue..

i spot the problem, in fact i know them long ago, if u know me well enough.. but now the problem is i dun find a solution for them and i live by this barrier, which i feel it's not a good thing if i'm in the people's business, now i noe the rational behind greeters n children church ......

be myself, be confident

Penny for my thought

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 05:43:35 GMT

well, if thoughts can be valued, i guess my blogs rather more like a bank book, haha i rarely blog abt how i feel, rather much on what have happened.
so it's like u update ur bank book and u see all the transactions printed on the book, but u dun see how u spent it. i guess all becomes part of my memories, well the i have good memories, i choose to believe it's a gift from God, well it helps me in my studies, it helps me quote verses, it helps me to remember people's liking and disliking, different slang lingo to use among different frens.

but i realise it's not like i dun have my thoughts, or my frens dun understand me, i realise i'm sort of in a wu-wo state.. shapeshifting has wearied me out, i realize it's one thing to want to be yourself, sometimes it's hard, tt's y i thank God oso that he dun reveals my thoughts to people.... some are really childish, some are really selfish some are really proud..i realize change is constant, i finally understand shapeshifting is not the appropriate words to use, it's more like renewing of my mind, where by i have the constant struggle between my thought-life and my flesh..

i have great dreams and i do want to achieve them. i plan out my life, but sometimes i live by my eyes, i can't see the path towards my dreams, gradually it became so dark that i no longer remember them, and they are chuck a side, everything the ray of hope comes, it show me a gleam of who i wanted to be, then i walk towards it again. i need to be focus..

one more thing that i realize in this short-lived freedom that i have.. that friends don't come and go. the fact that they come and go maybe u should ask, was there genuine friendship between u n that person before?

personally i feel friends are neither linked by distance nor linked by the duration of the friendship, they are linked by the heart. that's why people say wu xim or bo xim.. it's realli whether are we having tete-a-tete or are we having cliche talks.

why do i have such, remarks.. hmm recently i made friends, that i never knew before but barely one or two months we became rather closed closer than friends i have for 1 yr or 2. we noe how each one feels or think...
next was my primary sch frens.. it has been maybe like 6-7yrs since i last saw them, it jus felt like yesterdae, everione may have change in their circumstances but we are just like old neighbors we talked about anything under the sun,no offense taken even when got suan-ed haha just playing about. and yet they are really in the trench with you, they are people who walked by your side, i need friends who walked by my side, not friends that shout from the back "jia you raymond, we support you." and in difficult times, they are no where to be found.. lolx

my heart is getting heavier everyday, thought i'm already too bored and am "prepared" at least in my heart to go army.. haha now i totally understand how Jesus felt, haha if ur will allow, let this cup pass from me .. YKL if your will allows let NS pass from me.. lolx~
well then back to my point, at this stage i truly understand who really cares for me. and who belongs to the mere words kind.. there are people that say "Hey, oh you are gg to army? when? ok meet up soon ya? you plan" haha n never once the timing they are free.. nonetheless there are those who says ok don't care what you have, you are booked on that day, got to meet you before you go in" it's not like i'm going for long, like confine 2 weeks, but really sweet thought of them.

n this is the funny part, people that totally booked me, some of them i have not seen them for months? or years? people whom i last saw at CNY gathering? lolx.. u be shocked.. n those that dun really care i may see them here n there, or chat with them online all the time.. lolx

well vanity of vanities, choose your friends wisely. =D i write this blog for my son, my grandson and my friends to see =D so they can be updated on my life, maybe in future i'm senile and dun remember, i can tell my grandson, ah gong use to do cheerleading, when i was young i can carry girls that are heavier than you, u know~ =D lolx and i can show him the proof,.. haha

p.s. sometimes when people buy you something, you really think that they think you need it. it's like a slimming package, a complimentary yunnam hair care, a pregnancy test kit, and motivation books.i mean i'm ok with humors but behind every just joking, there's a little truth behind it. so really what is the message you are telling me, giving me "this" ? lolx

fairy tale?

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 05:56:59 GMT

kinda sad yet excited, today will be my last service before my army, decided to dress something loud, that shout BOOMZ. a hot pink top, didn't try before, but something i learnt, your first impression maybe your last impression, nonetheless the picture of the person on your mind will always be how you last saw him, until next time u all meet, well the next time i'm sure i'm tanned, fitter, hopefully sizzling hot~ lolx!(well this is my blog, freedom of speech?) haha

well yesterday's pm was great, revelations after revelations, just felt everything's really link and back to this word faith. long story but somehow Holy Spirit just show me like a flash back wow, suddenly all jus make sense, and i tell u, the illustrations Holy Spirit gives is the kind where by when u share it, ppl will go wow!

i talked to pastor tan yesterday =D haha happy~ i asked him about podcast whether does he have any.

then back to the topic fairy tale, well out of boredom i went to look out for shows.. haha.. and guess what i found.. a super nice anime-turn-drama show.. call buzzer beat. i'm episode 2, use to think it was just some slam dunk kind of show, but i guess it's more towards hot shot.. and once again renewed my love for jap drama.. people that knows me, knows that i kind of boycott korea stuff, cos since young i was super fan boy for japan stuff. well there was music station on channel 8's Goggles live timeslot,
there was all the good drama like beach boys, to love, hero and more, where takuya kimura was someone i looked up to, donning my levi's engineered jeans was something i was really proud of when i was young.. there was ayumi, speed, namie amuro, luna sea, larc en ciel.. all my favourites..........

until the korean drama started to come in, at 1st there was onli qiu tian the tong hua, or summer love story something liddat.. then they decided to take away goggles live so no more jap stuff, all are korean stuff.. i dun realli like korean shows, as the story either are rather sad where everyone dies, or the girls main lead like to act cute, or act gangster, totally not real life, stuff like my wife is gangster n stuff liddat..

well i always like jap show, because they show the genuine character and not some pseudo personality, they show how true love works, and why ppl fall in love, i mean such things may not be real anymore, like u see among ur frens breakup, two-timing and stuff. well u may same i'm naive or childlike but i choose to believe in true love overcomes, at least that's what's written in the bible. love covers a multitude..
i like to live in my own perspective world? well i choose to see my world from the truth from God's point of view and not what my eyes show me, even if it appears in front of me i choose believe life is good. =D positivity was what i learn last nite ..

positivity may not be faith, but faith is positive. there's a reason why 12 spies went to spy on a piece of land 4000 yrs ago from now, only 2 names lasted throughout all this time. because they saw the good and not the difficulties =D

my trip to johore pelangi

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:56:48 GMT

woots i feel so good, to find out the another part of JB, not jus the wong ah fook street, or city square plaza .. i found out pelangi's pasar malam which opens only on tuesdae

its a totally different feel from singapore pasar malam's it's more like taiwan, where u get very nice local delights and food/snacks, jus that m'sia 1 is really "pasar" in terms of pasar malam.. they got raw poultry fresh fish, and fresh vegetable straight from the farm.. wat more, the lady was cleaning the mud from the sweetpotato jus now.. wow n all is realli cheap.. lolx..some more de exchange rate has gotten to new height lolx =D like 5 cents more to 2.50

n i realli ate a lot..let's see i ate the fried food at one of the store.. got fried chicken thigh, 1 stick of fried wanton, 1 stick of fried fish tofu =D... i wanted to buy the taiwan fried chicken cutlet aka zha ji pai.. but long queue sian.. haha ate penang char kway teow.. hmm now then i understand the rational of getting back the "right" to cook the food for m'sia government.. it's realli different from singapore kway teow, they use the ipoh hor fun kind of kway teow and they got vegetables and prawn =D.. but i still prefer singapore's swim-in-oil's version kind of char kway teow, their's not so oily, believe it or not their road side store food are still health conscious(or maybe they wan to cut cost dun use so much oil) lolx.. oh they got black fried carrot cake too =D well then again i ate kueh lapis n coconut tart..went to their giant to buy toiletries for army. lolx. then home sweet home, went with my bro n my mum.. =D enjoyable day with my family..

hopefully next wed get to eat zhi cha b4 i go army with my family..i want butter-spare rib =D awwww lovely

i seriously can't bear to part, but i know this is the right thing to do, army, a memorable time of my life.

finally i can log in to blog

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:25:21 GMT

sian i remember i had something i wanted to blog about but i couldn't access my blog.. for uber long days due to some virus(i suspect) that hacks my log-in password. which makes mi unable to log into my blog..argh ok.. i have been folding stars for citycare, was helping out for children church's children dae.den it was small talk with yu zhen kept me thinking on a few things, then it was, jailbreaking my ipod touch, hmm then talking abt todae, rather sad i got 3 question i can't solve during maths tuition rather irritating. so pai sei. sian... argh.. okok then finalli i'm leading offering in cg, quite nervous yet excited, dunno how long shld offering be, but i realise doesn't realli matter not that long after all.. okok then it was catch up with pri sch frens realli cool most of them nv change.. lolx looks or de way they talk, jus remind mi of good o' hokkien days.. haha.. then it's gg to be lynn's bdae tis saturdae.. quite excited.. gotta her gift now what's left is her *ahem* secret.. haha

actualli i'm quite lost at what to do next or what i realli wan in life. realli need to pray n do some-Spirit searching.. soul-searching dun work for mi..

10-09-09 & 11-09-09 Eventful 16hrs

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:10:41 GMT

wooo.. that was a long night.. a total of 220km mileage..

haha let's see 1st i drove my sister-in-law and brother to their "mini honey moon" cos they r literally married by ROM..
then i went to novena to meet the 2 'V's vernon and vanessa..had my long awaited subway club with extra cheese =D ... woo we had a fun time playing games like rock band 2 n rayman raving rabbits. hahaha.. all de noisy fun games.. super nice.haha played some basketball at their And1 court .. haha realli lousy at basketball now, shoot so much onli score twice.. haha

den it was driving to chomp pang nasi lemak.. den fetch all de cool peeps.. den i brought them to yishun dam to chill.. really cool place.. to sit down n chit chat.. den went to pick timothy up at yishun, meanwhile supper again at yishun S11, den back to changi village to see TS awhile den went to have a walk at changi beach n the jetty to pulau ubin.. haha then went bedok reservoir mac to chill, de wireless at SG there realli got problem..haha chill awhile tired le.. den drive everi 1 home, i went to weipin's hse to rest, den morning went to shaun's camp to send him off.. his camp abit ulu and looks rather lack of facility unlike de bedok camp 2 that i went too.. haha realli cool.. okok den went home.. n tadah~ here i am.. with onli 45 mins of slp

09-09-09

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:42:09 GMT

thought i should leave a post at this special day, that comes once in every thousand years, which i kind of feel that there won't be another one =X

haha
ok today was my bro's ROM..

as usual i didn't run todae.. i think i nv run since mondae?
ok jog will be a better word.. hmm i realli detest running, realli wonder how my frens from cross country manage to even TRAIN for running, it's so boring(no offense) like u dun get to talk to people, running with people oso seems rather restricted either u r not on ur pace or the other person mus compromise, n chatting will get them out of breathe, a total. visual only sports, all u get to see is de car zooming pass u on de road. if u r inside maritchie , all u see is mud, path and trees well if u look attractive enough u may get to see monkeys.

ok let's not get out of point.. today was my Brother's ROM.. finally another family gathering..lots of things happened, good and bad. well thank God that there's more good stuff to blog about.. haha

ok got all dress up, wore my one and only suit haha think before i send to the laundry shall try wearing casual with it.. ahha.. like match a top or wat.. haha ok i thought i look suave.. haha this was what happen.. my bro went to change when we reach the registral .. i was with my then to be sister-in-law.. haha then this petite lady came and asked if i could speak chinese n i said yes.. woo so actualli she was from FM 95.8 .. came to interview ppl about their views on why they get married on this special day.. haha but she tot i was de bridegroom..which was so LOLX.. haha i jus look charming that's all.. i'm still young =D haha.. ok so i left my bro's gf to speak to her herself.. i took a step back n join my family members.. haha

the matrimony lady who say the vows for my bro was the same lady as my sis's haha so coincidental.. ok theirs is much shorter. like 10 mins over le.. unlike de christian wedding, where ppl sing, share word, n crack jokes, say something nice, n get them married.. still remember the joke abt 4 rings of wedding, haha proposal ring, wedding ring, enduring, suffering.. haha ok hope the later 2 dun happen to anyone.. ok then took pics..
den weee went to the fortune restaurant at chinatown.. tot is eat those fish n fins stuff.. quite disappointed at 1st.. hahha in the end it's dim sum buffet.. hahaha weee.. seriously i'm weird.. i prefer pizzas to sharkfin, i think i like to eat simple food, which gives mi a taste of home, and i realli have craving for them. things like black carrot cake, char siew rice,, west coast hainanese chicken rice, cheese naan, plaster prata, nasi goreng pattaya .. ok i'm a singaporean realli.. lolx.. i got to eat many many tan-tarts or u call them egg tarts.. wee as it was freshly baked, the egg was still piping hot on the inside, yum yum mamamia. haha i reali need to diet, cos i poured alot of pork ribs, har-gow and egg tarts down.. realli exciting..hahaha =D well happy day shld jus enjoy 1st think later..

hmm then rather kinda sian at the gg home part.. i fetch my sister n bro in law home.. n dad n mum was on board... after my accident.. my dad like to nags at my driving, n i'm not familiar with location to toa payoh the north areas.. then 1st i got to hear how they quarrel with which road to choose, my dad, my mum and my sis.. onli my bro-in-law noes how i feel.. haix.. den it was how i drive, my dad jus yell if i seem dangerous.. n his totally commanding me instead of guide/instruct.. well i understand it's my bad that i got into accident recently, and in my parents eyes, i'm always a kid.. but give mi a break. if u didn't like the idea of mi driving then simply ask brother to do it.. i can take bus home., or we can jus take cab. .. telling mi which lane to choose, how to turn, when it's safe to turn, when i'm de driver.. i sort of banged the other time becos i took the passengers instruction.. hey guys do u all remember i'm the one driving? i'm de looking at all 3 mirrors and road sign. n i didn't buy my license but passed myself..haix.. jus sian. i thank God for a full family, once that's close, it's ok if i'm not rich, but i pray that we can communicate and not yell. i'm thankful for the things i have, cos i have frens that have parents divorces,deceased or working oversea.. hmm i jus hope my family functions well and communicates well.. God bless my family.. ok enuff of complain.. i decided not to drive if my dad is ard.. =D i rather act blur.. haha

another thing to learn from my pro fren.. humility is not a denial of strength but doesn't mean we need to show it. haha
slightly different from my version but she's rather wise.. haha
just that todae she "ahemmmmmm" when i say i look suave =p i don't think she reads my blog all the way anyway =D

quite true and yet funny abt guys =D

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:29:47 GMT

http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/secrets-about-guys-that-girls-must-know-125128.html

i jus read de news paper todae, guys will become dumb when they see the girl they like. haha so funny guys will use their center part of the brain instead of the lower part of the brain.. haha slp details tell u another dae

drawn away

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 02:51:32 GMT

i'm sorry to my livejournal folks.. that read my blog...

facebook is to tempting, the twitter-size post.. it's jus easy n not time consuming.. hahaha

realli if u wan to find out abt me n my thoughts do check out my profile at http://www.facebook.com/RaymondLum?ref=profile

haha i guess sometimes we are just lazy not willing to go through the trouble and settle for something easy i guess haha

feel good factor.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 07:31:35 GMT

wow~ i seriously feel the ugly truth is an excellent show.. 5/5 must watch.. realli ugly yet true.. hmm i guess it help mi to solve all the tangles in my heart.. realli we should stop pretending to be who we are not.. just be ourselves..it's better than making people fall in love for some fictional character.. just be urself and there will be someone that acccepts u for who you are.. your true self =D

at the end of the day, it's not about who people think you are, who you think you are. it's all about who you really are =D we need to know the truth.... sadly some of us, have been hiding/pretending our normal self that we are no longer sure, who we really are =D

seriously don't feel good

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:17:25 GMT

i think jogging will release some 'feel good' hormones n i'm gg to do that now~ even though it's 9:15pm.. i should learn to feel good about myself..

really i'm not exactly 100% gentleman but like the H.S if u don't wan me around or is uncomfortable with me, i won't force my way in even though i meant well. peace is better than strife.

world of paradox

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:14:08 GMT

haha after reading ECC lolx. something shook me.. haha i'm in a world of paradox. we live in a parallel world? lolx.. well nonetheless i enjoy what i'm doing

paradox one : what you want to receive you need to give.. many of us think that to keep or to gather is the better way, but i learnt that you reap what you sow, before u receive the harvest, u must learn to let your seed fall to the ground to let it die, before it will grow =D.. the concept of sowing and reaping, everybody knows it. but what's usual response of people? reaping what they have not sown, greed is not good =X

paradox two: if you want to be the head of all you must be the servant of all.. whether u r a normal staff, or the boss of some large business corporation u need to serve. and if u r the boss all the more u got to serve, 1st of all business means "Service" that's where u get the term "service industry" of cos u need to serve, on top and apart of profits and monetary concerns, business is mainly providing a service for people.. and i'm sure the head of the government which is the president or the prime minister they are called "civil servants" , well-paid? prominent? yes still a servant.. i have learn that if u wan to be the greatest of all u need to be the servant of all =D where do u start? start by giving up seats to ppl who needs it more than you ( p.s needs it more than you, doesn't have to be senior citizens, pregnant, with kids, handicapped.. even some teenagers whose carrying lots of stuff.. be nice , serve..u dunno whose watching =D maybe it's the boss whose gg to interview u for ur new job~ well u never know )

paradox three: to have freedom means u got to restrict yourself even more. well with greater power comes greater responsibility, when we have greater ability we must learn when n how to use it appropriately, to maximise it's potential and put it to good use.. not for flauntings or boasting.. sometimes we practise humility by having self-control de fact that we can do something doesn't mean we have to do it, "Act blur live longer" ya? vanities of vanity, less is more at times, why do u wan to die before your time? haha remember others can we cannot, at times we ask ourselves, since we are saved, why do we bother to consecrate ourselves, why do we bother to fast and spend time with God? why can't we be like other christian, jus attend church every weekend and that's it? ya others can we cannot, we restrict ourselves.. just because we are saved by grace, doesn't mean we abuse the grace and use it sin =D
jus like how u dun take people for granted, we dun take God for granted, God is a person too =D He has feelings

more to come.. if i bother to blog

the parallel world fits onto one single plains

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 00:51:57 GMT

as i was reading the bible and thinking about my own life.

really i'm not wise in a lot of situations. i guess i got to be wise by speaking lesser, think more, listen more, find more wise people to talk to, search for instruction, observing people, don't bear grudges or offenses , let it go.. speak the truth in love, and love your friends and people around you. they are there for a reason, if you think your friends that made fun of u are bad, wait till u see office politics when u go to work.. be teachable, and always esteem others better than yourself..last but not least, don't be a kpo

i have a friend called kenrick who said something meaningful last nite on face book--> "Failures might be fatal but it's not final, it's the giving up that makes it final. We do not have enough time to commit all the mistakes that people make.. so learn from their mistakes."

life is too short for us to hesitate in fear everytime we want to try something, it's ok to walk slowly but never stop. we may not have time to learn from every mistake by experiencing it, but we don't have to. learning by observation is the best.. jump on to the rocks, your seniors did as they are stable.

i realise in life.. i lack patience. i speak too much, sometimes not in my area of concern, don't over stepped border, it's ok to be concern but it's not ok to be kpo. i need to be wise, sometimes it's not about what i say it's about how i say..
stress but i'll change

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 01:31:06 GMT

before i graduated, i was thinking, 1 week more to graduation.. mus endure through then everything would have been nice~ finalli out there to do something

during graduation, i felt omg i will definitely miss the presence, the foreign student, the morning praise n worship, the friends i made. (in fact the last 3 weeks of sch i made more friends than i did through out the sch term) so just got to know them then graduated le..

after graduation, i feel like i'm retrenched.. no more pressurized rice-cooker lifestyle.. living such a slow pace life.. realli not use to it.. think about it. i use to rush to queenstown mrt everi morning, get a seat around buona vista area, read bible/sleep till pioneer, run to the bus stop to chase bus, alighting from bus run to tap card, listening to the pa team saying "3mins left, 2mins more!" haha then take a lift down, usualli jus nice start P n W so if it's adi he will say "morning SOT, turn to your neighbours and say let's get ready to praise God" then during the 20-25 mins break.. 5 mins use to wait for the lift.. everibody packed like sardin in it..(lesson learn.. be a gentleman, n u will benefit.. let them go in 1st =D haha guys at the last row will get squeeze to the bar handle, many a times need to tip toe or be in awkward position cos scare to touch de sister ahah veri tiring n think about it the last to go in, displayed manhood, good reputation, don't have to be squeezed still get to go out of lift 1st =D) haha den 5 more mins use to walk to 2nd best crossing the road at the shortest time is the key =D .. then 5 mins use to buy food n drink.. ya the drink is rather optional.just that sometimes be nice n buy for ppl la =D take turn.. okok 5 mins to eat.. den 5 mins to walk back maybe visit the toilet.. hahah
talking about toilet girl toilets are the longest queue ever, even longer den de drink queue~ hahaha

ok i realli miss sch.. i tot after i graduated.. there will be alot of fellowships n stuff.. i'm wrong.. haha all of them are employed.. n haf a full time job.. lolx..onli mi.. haha those that dun haf a job.. are having interviews everydae.. haha i'm unemployed, physically or spiritualli hahaha lolx~

oh well always look on the bright side of life.~

finally i cleared my doubts

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:33:22 GMT

today as i was rather troubled by my fruitless pondering .. i finally found the answer..

love covers all sin, love never fails, love suffers long, love is not puffed up and does not parade itself

means

1)love over sees the offense

2) love works all the time.
-which means the moment love doesn't work, it simply means you no longer love the person

3)love is patience, able to endure frictions and indifference

4) love is not showy, you don't do acts of love, just to impress the person, you do it simply because you love that person even if he/she will never find out it's you who did it =D not for you to boast what u have done either...

another theory.. hatred stirred up strifes, but he who hides hatred is a liar

Lying lips conceal hatred, and whoever utters slander is a fool. pro 10:18

so i know already. when u have an issue with the person, just solve it, speak to the person. and if he/she repents and ask for forgiveness u forgive the person, n recouncile the relationship...

if he/she doesn't accepts it. love them anyway. God has His own plan for them. u try your best, God will do the rest. =D
nonetheless don't hide a hatred and suddenly slander bad things abt them.. the person may feel u r mean, cause out of no cause u slander against the person or act like a fool.

-mother theresa- love them anyway, at the end of the day the real issue is between you and God, it was never between you n them =D
God is just looking at the way you react.

wow with that i finally can comprehend what was it all about =D
because if i can't get it myself, i can never preach it, neither can i live it out, i render my own words powerless.. that they don't have convictions when i share with people..but i still need grace to do it, it's difficult but at least i will try

nonetheless that small little prick in my heart, finally gone~

recent times

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 07:19:16 GMT

pastor always end his prayer in this "may the grace of Jesus Christ, the love of the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit" be with you always. hmm i really need to have more love of the Father, the compassion for the hard to love people. i have no problems loving people who deserve to be love, sometimes even more than myself or at the expense of myself.. but i do have difficulties loving my enemies. i can not hate them and try to minimize contact with them but i find i have difficulties loving them again. my leader once told me this form of "bo chap" is call unforgiveness. hmmm i need grace.

wooo~ keep walking~

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:40:27 GMT

a little sleep, a little slumber
a little folding of the hands to sleep,
so shall your poverty come on you like a prowler,
and your need like an armed man.

well one thing i learnt. it's not about how fast you walk or how much you have walk most importantly. are you still continualy walking everyday. we may have been running during sot days.. but now that sot is over r u still walking?

i'm not asking u to be need-conscious here..but just like how people usually say when ur hand stop your mouth stops. meaning no income there's no food.. do u realli think people work jus for the sake of eating? nope they are hoping for more, better lifestyles, saving up for their children n their children's children..

to continue walking u need to look at the finishing line, focusing on it. n pressed on. dun be distracted

this is from someone who is wise blog~ haha i quoted it

[Some people begin well but along the race, they fall away. Some people didn't start on the right foot, but eventually adjusted or changed themselves.

Sometimes seeing other who started later going past you in a race may not be pleasant. But always remember, you decide the pace of the race. You decide if you are going to end it. You decide when to end it - give up halfway or finish till the end.

Sometimes perservering till the end will allow it time for a twist to end, an unexpected result, just like drama. ]

nonetheless let's not just focus on our own walk, seeing other people beside us who fell yet turn a blind eyes to them, just because we want to get to the goal, the true victory in life, is to winning it right, completing the race with a clear conscience, what glory is there, when u gotten the champion because u walked over all the matches in ur tournament ? learn to build people's life and in the process your life will be build, your character n ur attitude determines how far u will go in life. even if u dun win this time, with the character that's moulded it will succeed the 2nd time.. matter of chronological order...

talking about matter of chronological order.. one thing i dun understand people, what's the difference between staying up late to finish up their homework then they sleep , to sleep first then wake up earlier to finish up their work..
the only difference i can see is productivity, ur mind is more awake and freshen up to work and think, not feeling like dozing off.
it's not a difference in time span at all.. oh well..haha matter of preference, whatever is amoral it's a matter of preference =D

a new beginning

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:14:02 GMT

today marks the day of the start of my new phase of life. a whole new beginning, more time= more freedom= more self-discipline needed.. haha yup tt's true, i have been updating on facebook la.. so if u dun see any update here as frequent go to my facebook.. as i think it's faster to update over there.. pictures speaks a thousand words.. i took like tonnes of picture last 2 days... http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/RaymondLum?ref=profile

was feeling rather dry last of whole week, guess i didn't pray as much.. but finalli during the weekend i broke through. now i finalli understand, it's not abt how many times u fall, it's abt how many times u r willing to pick urself up, n how fast u pick urself up..

praying really helps a lot. thank God for ppl ard me that watch over my life.

oh well i feel like i got a lot of time, yet i dun wan to waste it.. haha so i guess i will start visiting ppl, or i will exercise till i'm fit. i'm determine to become 68kg by end of august,running everidae.. haha since morning i got nth to do =Dwhoever wants to meet mi..i'm jus a text msg away.. haha
really nth much to do haha which is bad

psalms

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:40:40 GMT

it's really in difficult times then when u read psalms u really feel the emotions behind it.

where tears well up uncontrollably..

Psalm 37:4-7 (New King James Version)

4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
         And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD,
         Trust also in Him,
         And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
         And your justice as the noonday.

7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him;
         Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
         Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass

for He is faithful

toughest opponent

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:42:13 GMT

many a times we don't say it, but subtlely we do know in our hearts that our greatest enemies are simply ourselves.

yuzhen talked about distractions from our calling.
pst tan talked about distractions(lust of the flesh) in presenting ourselves to God. rom 6:12-14

i think all this voice out the same logic, that actually we can easily achieve or require a shorter time to achieve our goals.
but we need to first die to ourselves, we need to stop obeying the lust of the flesh. what your flesh wants, usually is not the same as what your spirit wants.
"presenting our body" --> who are we presenting our bodies to? or you can ask...
how are we spending our time?

all the things that your flesh is yelling at you for is, more sleeps, facebook, movies, shopping, fellowship, rest ,relax and slack, don't be siao on, why go through all the pain?, all is well, girlfriend, money, comfort..

but what's in your spirit, is really the groaning for glory, groaning to do something more for Him, and for people. where your dreams and your visions dwells.

i'm not talking about abstinence.all things are permissible for me but not all things are helpful for my dream.. so i'm talking about the right priorities.. if u want to score well.. u need to do ur assignments on times and stuff liddat..instead of spending time facebook-ing n procrastinating.. saying u will submit later n stuff.. haha u need to finish the things u got to do 1st.. den u enjoy yourself..
i too pampered myself often, slacking in front of the computer, movies,facial,retail therapy ahhaha talking about feeding the soul. i'm the chief of all in it..but ya we need to have a balance in every thing our life. do what that is helpful for our dream or what that will benefit us..

we need to sow our time on something that has eternal consequences.

how come many of us may desire the same results but obtain different results?
because of the different level of effort put in.

why? cause simply you are the captain for your life.. everytime u see a storm in front of you, you tell yourselves, that's too difficult or "it's impossible" to go through it. let's turn somewhere else and choose the easier way out.
we need to understand this, everytime we are sailing away from our destination, we are hindering ourselves from our goal.
a distracted vision simply means division.

it's this "too difficult" and "impossible thing" that hinders us all the time. we simply render something that may cost us something as impossible. we want to reach our destination with the least risk.

sometimes to see the rainbow, we just got to go through the storm, it's as simple as that.
will there be pain? yes, but are you so desperate for your dreams that you tell yourself, you are willing to bear the pain.

i need to overcome myself. typing all this out, i feel i'm the worst guy for the job really, i totally understand how Paul feels when he said "wretched man i am, the things i will to do i do not", having a dream i want to realize, but not determine to go through it's difficulties.

with that i conclude i really need grace to overcome myself.